Despite the potentially inflammatory title, this blog is not
intended to be incredibly controversial. It is personal. I am not speaking for
my employer, my denomination, or even my Christian faith in particular. I am
speaking as a man who works daily with young adults struggling with their
sexual identity in a world that is not making it any easier for them to do so.
I am speaking as a member of humanity who wants to point out an important
observation; with all the attention that has been put on peoples’ “rights” to
choose their marriage partner, their sexual identity, and their personal ethics
of sexuality, I am finding a subtle, and not so subtle, pressure on young
adults to bend to particular political and social agendas regardless of their
personal convictions. What I am saying is that our culture has so emphasized the
need for people with same-sex attraction to be treated fairly and with equality
that they have made it increasingly difficult for people who want to change to
do so without fear of marginalization. To put it another way, many young adults
feel that if they find themselves attracted to the same sex that they should
feel guilty if they don’t want to embrace that attraction. Many are asking, “what about my rights to
choose NOT to be gay?” Inasmuch as our society wants to raise the issue of
homosexuality to a civil right on par with issues of gender and race, many
young adults are wondering if their freedom to choose their sexuality is really
on the table at all, or if the push for most of them is to simply embrace
whatever desires they currently have, regardless of whether or not they agree
with them, want them, or believe they are wrong, sinful, or unnatural. Where are
the rights for those who don’t want their same-sex attraction?
Yesterday, a courageous young woman from our community
stepped boldly to the podium of our chapel and shared her personal story of
struggle with same sex attraction, and her long road to freedom. And, sadly, I
couldn’t help but wonder the whole time whether ours was a culture in which it
is becoming increasingly more risky to publicly declare that you have chosen to
be straight rather than gay, instead of the other way around.
I am not particularly interested in debating same-sex marriage;
there are plenty of other blogs you could read if you are looking for a good
fight in that arena. But I am interested in engaging with people who want to
suggest that the only rights worth fighting for are THEIR rights. If the right
to choose your sexual partner is a right our country wants to defend (again,
regardless of whether I agree or don’t agree) then I am willing to stand for
equality on the issue for those who still believe that sexuality is a choice
and are desperately searching for freedom from desires they didn’t ask for, and
no longer want. I am also willing to be a public voice that encourages those,
even if they are a small minority, searching for the courage to change and
looking for a friend to travel the road with them so they don’t need to go it
alone. My hope is that the true Church can be the kind of community that you
are praying you will find.
