This week the Evangelical world took some hard hits. Two fairly prominent leaders fell from positions of influence and respect. And despite those that support the opinion that these stories hit the airways because the “media” is just out to get Christians, I personally believe that there are far too many leaders in the church doing damage to the reputation of Christianity without any help from secular news outlets. I am not suggesting that the American media is in any way supportive of my faith, but I also can’t blame them for reporting blatant moral catastrophes when they happen. Indeed, the word is clear that those who strive to be teachers will be “judged more severely” (James 3:1). And yes, I am well aware this includes me.
One of the stories this week involved former Kings College President Denish D’ Souza. The second exposed CJ Mahaney, founder of Sovereign Grace Ministries. The particulars of either story are easily accessible online if you care to search. My point in bringing them to the surface here is no to belabor the unfortunate details of either case, but allow their examples to force every leader into a moment of important reflection.
One of the most important books on leadership I have ever read is a book entitled Overcoming The Darkside of Leadership. In it, authors Gary McIntosh and Samuel Rima suggest that every leader who rises to power is driven by a personal dysfunction that, if left unattended to, will eventually lead to their demise. The authors suggest 5 types of dysfunctional leadership including compulsive, narcissistic, paranoid, codependent, and passive-aggressive leaders. Obviously, some leaders struggle with more than one dysfunction.
I discovered this truth in my own life the hard way. While I was finishing graduate school, I took a friend up on his suggestion that we should plant a church together. Less than a year later I found myself in another fulltime job as a college chaplain. At the time I was living in a college dorm with my wife and two young children. Throughout the week I was pouring myself into studies and my full-time job, while my weekends were spent preparing sermons and organizing a fledgling church. Monday came quickly each week, and the cycle started all over again.
I self medicated until I nearly imploded. I almost lost my marriage. I almost lost my kids. I almost lost any chance at ministry. But thankfully I had a loving community who was able to speak into my life. After some time I ended up in some much-needed counseling. I finished grad school, handed the church plant to another pastor and moved out of the dorms. I now have 3 young boys and my marriage still stands stronger than ever after 14 years.
I still wrestle with my personal demons. There are plenty of times that I bump into the young boy inside of me looking for his father’s attention, or the scared and self- protective kid who wants to make sure no one can ever hurt him. My list of personal dysfunction has not shortened. What has changed however is my awareness of them and their potential power to utterly destroy any plans God has intended to fulfill in and through me.
If you are in leadership, or think you may be called to leadership at some point, please take the humbling steps towards a mentor, counselor, pastor or close friend who is willing to be a Nathan to you. Someone who won’t be afraid to tell you the truth about your life, someone who can walk beside you and sit with you as you work through your personal darkness before it becomes the darkness of everyone you are leading.
